Wow – the month of April FLEW by! And May has continued on at the same unrelenting pace. So today is THE DAY. Time to stop flying by the seat of my pants and anchor myself to my life again. I need to re-prioritize, re-balance and … get a grip!
I face my computer, respond to emails, assess my bank account, plan the remainder of my week …. SIGH. My enthusiasm dwindles. I am not feeling well – I have been battling the flu. I can’t make a decision on how to handle several items on my TO DO list. Does this ever happen to you? I feel overwhelmed, and I know I can’t take care of everything. There just isn’t enough time or energy … or me!
I am diligent and committed until noon. I have several questions that I need to pray about because I need direction. And I say to God that I am very serious. He needs to be listening to me, because I need answers. I tell Him that HE needs to be on His game, speak clearly … because I am focused today.
A break from the computer and a brisk walk seem to be in order. Time to re-energize, refresh my thoughts and give God some time to answer my questions. Although I am an urban dweller, I am blessed to live 5 minutes from a scenic mountain and glacial river pathway system. I love it! So I have favorite iTunes playlist ready, running shoes laced … I am ready to go.
As the door closes behind me, I hear …
No music today.
Huh? I love this playlist – ministers to my spirit! And again I hear …
No music today.
Silence.
Listen to the world today.
Sigh. step step step step
OK. No music. Ok, I hear the birds. Yeah, its nice.
step step step step step
Take off your glasses.
What???
Just take them off.
Let me pause and explain. I have terrible eyesight. Anything past 12 inches from my nose is a blur. I am wearing my glasses because I have been having months of painful eye issues – and NOTHING is working. I am sensitive about my eyes.
Ronda, …take them off.
But this is NOT reasonable. What if I step in a hole, or walk into a tree???
Take off your glasses.
step step step step step
Off …
Oh … OK.
I am waiting to feel lost, but instead I feel peace. I choose to trust that I will be safe. And the breeze feels wonderful, unrestrained from caressing my face. I settle into the moment. Although the lack of visual clarity is usually disconcerting – I wonder what it is that I am supposed to SEE. After a time, I choose to stop and just look around me. In the absence of sharp line and defined forms, I notice shapes and balance and COLOR! I notice the brilliance of the white in the clouds, and the subtle blue grays that give hint to the form. I feel the weight of the form of the land and the teal blue balance that the river brings to the valley. It is beautiful – and it is perfect.
I am unfocused and “unplugged” in this moment. Yet I feel more connected and grounded than I have felt for some time.
Spring was late in arriving this year. In my busy schedule I missed seeing the wild crocuses bloom in this sun-kissed valley. I return to a moment of regret, anxiety … but only for a moment. A warm breeze brushes by me – laden with the scents of the warming earth and freshly unfurling spring leaves. It carries no scent of regret or poor timing or lost opportunity. It is full of perfect timing and divine purpose. I suddenly have a curious interpretation of the birds songs. They are singing “It is glorious! Today is glorious! Isn’t it glorious?” They are rapturous in their appreciation of the day. I put my glasses on, because I am beginning to receive the message. I watch several butterflies as they flutter by – full of intention. They are the perfect expression of BE-ing what they were created to be, and DO-ing what they were purposed to do.
I sit and absorb this revelation. I see a late-blooming crocus. It doesn’t seem to be too troubled by its late arrival or the delay of the season. It is radiating the glory of its brilliant perfection – as it was ALWAYS destined to do. Creation responding as it was created to do. I have no words to describe the beauty of this moment.
There has been great value in being “unplugged” today, in listening to the pared down acoustics of the world around me. There has been value in being unfocused – allowing clarity to diminish so that I might appreciate the dance of shape and form and color and light!
Unexpected answers to my questions. But SO much better answers than I ever expected! This day is good – it is glorious!
Can you “unplug” today or tomorrow – for a time? Take time to awaken your senses to the world around you … you may find something gloriously unexpected!
Take the Step 